I'm a music person. Music is in my blood; it courses through my veins. I grew up singing. Still do. I love to dance. Without it. . .I don't know a life. Music takes me back in time, to love and to unforgettable pain. Music can conjour joy, sadness; loss; rebirth; it evokes confidence and also harrowing memories we would rather forget. Music can make you laugh, smile, can energize, ignite faith, bring forth hope, and help you live to fight another day.Music can inspire; motivate; make you cry and above all it binds us to everything we were, we are and are yet to be.
Who among us hasn't passed through a brutal break up and listened to a song that leveled up our misery? No one? Just me? Okay then. Liars.
But for all these years in my life that music has generated every single one of those emotions [and more] for me, the "love" songs; the ones that always pull on my romance strings and make me think all beautiful things are possible has generally always been connected to finding romantic love; the partnership kind. I confess that music (or poetry set to a melody - aka word porn for us writers), accounts for at least 50% of me keeping faith in finding my soul mate. But not as of late.
Over the course of the last two to three years (maybe longer), even songs that give me the goosies have evolved. Those once dreamy lyrics have taken on a new meaning, Not all the lyrics of course, but now almost 90% of my tunes and playlists; my non-workout jams revolve around my three children. It's like that saying, "And suddenly all the love songs were about you." Yeah they are but now they are about "them."
I listen to these lyrics and it feels as if someone is expressing to my children the very sentiments I feel; the endless, eternal, unconditional, life-giving, trade-my-life-for-yours, protect you with every fiber of my being kinds of declarations. You might feel the same. You might think that this is absurd and extreme but heres' the rub: I'm a single mom who has been broken. More than once. And it was THEM - those wonderful little angels/terrorists that helped me rise up, find strength and tread through madness to become the woman I am today. You may love her; you might not. You likely don't know her. But the truth is that truth is not objective. NOW, when I think of love I don't think of being swept off my feet; I don't think of the proverbial knight in shining armor (can't wait for the myth busters episode on that one). When I think of love, I think of R3, I think of Tess Ryan and I think of Brooks - of an inexplicable, indescribable love; a love that even in the darkest moments reminds you that THEY are worth fighting for. At least until my heart beats black and blue.
Here are just a couple excerpts from "love songs" that have taken on a "new meaning." For me, it's always going to be about these three. . .because my darlings, I may not love you the rest of your lives but I can promise you I will love you the rest of mine.
"I will fight. I will fight for you. I always do, until my heart is black and blue. And I will stay, I will with you, we'll make it through the other side, we always do. I'll reach my hands out in the dark and wait for yours to interlock. I'll wait for you. Cause I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up no not yet, even when I'm down to my last breath, even when they say there's nothing left, I won't give up on you. Even when nobody else believes, I'm not going down that easily, so don't give up on me." - Any Grammer
"Thought I was good, I was good on my own, I was alright. Thought I was grown and as strange as I knew I was alright. Oh I lived a whole life thinking I knew how to, how to handle love - a love I thought I knew. Everything before you, was stretching out my heart just so it could be big enough to beat for two. Never understood why people always say love chooses you, but now I do. Now I do. Didn't ever think that I could ever say I promise you, but now I do. Used to be a time I thought that I had nothing to lose but now I do. Now I do." - Aloe Blacc
"When time is up and the sun it dies, 'til the rivers flood and the ocean dries; hand in hand under the falling sky, I will still love you. You are the reason I make it through the day, you give me the reason to better all my ways, the beauty goes the money spent, everything else fades away but you are my constant. When we've walked the earth every inch and mile, laughed so hard until we cried; through every triumph and every trial, I will love you." - Ruthanne
"May the good Lord be with you down every road you roam; and may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home. And may you grow to be proud, dignified and true. And do until others as they'd have done to you. Be courageous and be strong; and may you never love in vain and in my heart you will remain, forever young." - Rod Stewart
Dedicated the the loves of my lifetime. . .
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